[ Retro Scan of the Week ] Fishing for Dolphins
November 12th, 2007 by Benj Edwards
Dolphins are losers. Or is it the other way around?
Welcome to the world’s most bizarre and confusing vintage computer ad. The headline of the ad reads “hook a winner*,” but upon examining further down the page, you’ll notice that the footnote asterisk sits halfway between the words “dolphin” and “winner.”
So what exactly were they trying to say? “Hook a winner, not a dolphin” or “Hook a winner — like a dolphin”? Either way, who hooks dolphins?
“Damn, it’s another dolphin; gotta throw him back.”
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[ From BYTE Magazine, May 1981 ]
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November 12th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
Finally a chance to use this quote:
Stan: “Dolphins are intelligent and friendly!”
Cartman: “Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise…”
November 13th, 2007 at 11:39 am
Dolphins are losers simply because they lack opposable thumbs. They cannot indulge in classic computers or video games and therefore suck. Everyone knows that.
Except I hear that the Wii is really catching on in the dolphin community these days thanks to the fin strap mod.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Dolphins are the only other creatures that have sex for pleasure.
FORNICATION = WINNER
November 15th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
So can anybody figure out exactly what the advertiser was trying to imply by this ad? I’m truly baffled.
November 16th, 2007 at 9:06 am
I am equally as confused. Is it possible they had foreseen the Miami Dolphins 2007 season?
Honestly I think maybe they just wanted a big fish in the picture, and all they could get a hold of was a dolphin. So maybe the mammal-sensitive folks in the company said “okay we’ll use it, but make sure you include some sort of note to illustrate that we do not advocate fishing for dolphins.”
This is by far the oddest retro scan yet.
November 16th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
Maybe it was some sort of eco statement – dolphin netters are losers. You’re great catch is not really that great.