I find it hard to interpret this image as a good thing.

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[ Ulaf Silchov is an expert in video games and computers. He also writes for “Svadlost Weekly” and “The Aquarian Underworld Circular” ]

GREETINGS MY THE VIDEO GAME FRIENDS. THIS WORDS MARK THE STARTING OF A NEW WRITINGS BY ULAF WHERE YOUR MINDS ASK THE QUESTIONS OF YOUR MINDS TO ULAF AND MY MINDS ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS OF YOUR MINDS. LET US START THE FUN MACHINE AND TRAVEL.

[ Continue reading ASKING ULAF #1 » ]

There was a time in the early 1990s when “Virtual Reality” via bulky goggles strapped to your head seemed like the promise of the future. Video game console manufacturers like Atari, Sega, and Nintendo all dipped their toes into the virtual reality waters, but none devised a practical and cost-effective solution. Those attempting to create affordable consumer VR headsets encountered common problems: a true stereo display using two high resolution color LCD screens and motion tracking was too expensive, and even high quality goggles caused serious motion sickness and disorientation with many users.

Apparently VictorMaxx knew something that companies with multi-million dollar R&D budgets didn’t. They released the StuntMaster VR, a “3-D interactive virtual reality” headset with seemingly impressive motion tracking capability (“point-of-view instantly scrolls or rotates with the turn of your head!”). But alas, I own one, and I know that VictorMaxx only surpassed the competition in hyperbole and false advertising. The StuntMaster VR is a terrible piece of junk.

Imagine that: reality for the masses.

Dare you step forward, cheeze ball? Despite what the box says, the StuntMaster VR is not a 3D display. It contains one extremely grainy low resolution LCD screen in the center of the goggles. If you put it on, it hurts your face. The display singes your retinas with an intensely fuzzy, hard-to-focus-on image. The head tracking mechanism is nothing more than a stick you clip to your shoulder (see picture above) which slides through a loop on the side of the headset. When you turn your head, the StuntMaster detects the stick sliding in the loop and translates this into a left or right button press on a control pad, assuming you’ve actually hooked it up to the controller port of your SNES or Genesis. Remember the “point-of-view instantly scrolls or rotates with the turn of your head” quote? I’d love to see that happen in Super Mario World. Obviously, it couldn’t actually work unless the game were programmed for that functionality in advance. Unless, of course, you’re playing Doom and you want to turn left or right by moving your head.

A disturbing, tragic world, yours? Then please, do not buy the StuntMaster VR headset. Mine was so useless that I took it apart about four years ago and wired up some connectors to use it as a tiny LCD monitor. Even then, the LCD screen’s extremely low resolution makes it nearly useless. So now it spends most of its days sitting in its box, partially disassembled, reflecting on the good old days when plants were still green and the Lawnmower Man played out like a guaranteed guide to the future. I still want one of those springy mid-air virtual reality harnesses, by the way.

The StuntMaster headset makes me wonder how long VictorMaxx stayed in business. Who knows, we might hear from a former employee in time. Did anybody else have one of these, or any other VictorMaxx products? Leave a comment and we’ll talk.

If you use these images on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

[ ‘Tales From the Benjside’ is a column where Benj writes silly things about computers, video games, and tangentially-related stuff in a blog-like fashion. ]

It’s Christmas time once again in the Land of Benj, and you know what that means: more presents! So get out your stockings and you elf caps and follow me once again into another…

What? It’s March, you say? Egads, man! Seems that I’m a bit late on the festivities (or early?). But then again, the Land of Benj does not observe normal rules of space and time. Only the Rules of Christmas. And the Rules of Christmas clearly spell out (Section 8c, Paragraph 4, Line 3) that it’s time for another Tales From the Benjside. Let it commence.

[ Continue reading Tales From the Benjside: BABY DRAGON IS SLEPT » ]

[ Ulaf Silchov is an expert in video games and computers. He also writes for “Svadlost Weekly” and “The Simpler Thymes Drug-Free Newsletter” ]

ULAF HERE AGAIN WITH ANOTHER INSTANCE OF MY MIND’S WRITINGS. THIS WRITINGS CONTAIN TOP SECRETS ON HOW TO EAT THE VIDEO GAMES. ULAF MEAN REALLY EAT THEM, AS TO DO AND TO PASS THROUGH THE BODY AS NUTRIENT, OR KUDGE SLAW VISKOS, A NATIVE DISH OF ULAF’S COUNTRY.

IT IS FULL OF THE TIPS LEARNED FROM MASTERS AFAR AND AWIDE, GAINED IN KNOWLEDGE THROUGH MY MIND (THROUGH BOOKS CONVEYED BELOW) AND PUSHED FORWARD TO YOUR MIND THROUGH THE MAGIC OF TUBS, AS THE JOKE GOES. THROUGH THE GLORIOUS INTERTUBS WEBNET. AS MY MIND FINDS IT FUNNY.

THE FAVORITE FOODS

BUT FIRST. BEFORE THE BOOKS ON EATING THE VIDEO GAMES, ULAF SHARES WITH MY PERSONS NOW THE FAVORITE FOODS OF MY MIND:

IT ABOVE IS THE THE HAMBURGLAR, A NATIVE FOOD OF THE AMERICAS COUNTRY. UPON FLOWING TO THIS AMERICAS ULAF EAT MANY OF THESE HAMBURGLAR WHEN MY MIND IS HUNGRY TO EAT. THAT IS TRULY WHY, THEY SPOKE OF AMERICAS TO BE THE PLACE OF THE OPPORTUNITY. AND THEN MY MIND STOPS.

[ Continue reading HOW TO EAT THE VIDEO GAMES » ]

I was thinking recently. This site is supposed to be a blog, right? Well, it’s not really very bloggy. I’ve been getting around that by calling VC&G a “blogazine” — that is, half-blog, half-magazine — and it works pretty well. But still, I think this place has been severely lacking in blogatude recently. I’ve become too serious, too obsessed with writing only thoroughly-researched pieces that take ages to finish. Everything I start writing turns into some kind of research paper, as if I have some compulsive need for incredibly documented detail in everything I do. That kind of obsession is something of a good habit for feature writers (as long as you can make a deadline), but a bad one for bloggers. Luckily, I’m having success in freelance work, where detail and accuracy is king. And if I want to keep getting writing jobs, I obviously want all my output to be as professional as possible. That kind of attitude leaves little room for silliness in case they catch me on a bad day. Am I being too uptight? Yes, I am. But consider this: If I wanted to interview the Pope about the first computer he ever used, and VC&G’s leading article at the time was titled “Five Ways I Wipe My Butt With Computers,” do you think he’d grant me the interview? (Hell yes, because the Pope loves that tingling feelin’ as much as anyone else. But that’s beside the point.)

Despite all the professional anxiety I just expressed (this sounds more and more like a real blog all the time, doesn’t it?), I still need to remember to have a little fun. So let’s have some. This entry marks the beginning of a new column about the current hectic happenings in my happenin’ hip-hop VC&G lifestyle. I don’t expect to be whining much (a perennial blog favorite), so bear with me. It’ll try to find a suitably compelling and dramatic replacement. And have no fear, my loyal VC&G friends: aside from this blog-like column, you can continue to expect the same professionalish blogazine standard from Vintage Computing and Gaming as usual.

But for now, it’s bloggerin’ time.

[ Continue reading Tales From the Benjside: Attack of the Blog! » ]