Archive for the 'Humor' Category

This Week’s Game Ads A-Go-Go:
“A Brief Guide to Gaming Diseases”

Thursday, April 27th, 2006
Ouch

This week in Game Ads A-Go-Go on GameSetWatch, I’ve assembled a brief guide to some particularly nasty video game diseases. Bring a copy of Dr. Mario — you’re gonna need it.

Retro Scan of the Week: Little Timmy and the Arm-length Power Glove

Monday, April 24th, 2006
NES Power Glove Manual

In this action-packed scan of the NES Power Glove manual cover, we see little Timmy hopping from leg to leg, trying to get in on the finger-bolt-shooting action. “Oooh! Oooh! Lemmie try!” he begs Lighting Finger Man. “Sorry, little Timmy. I think that glove is a little big for you,” LFM replies. “You must also understand that with great Power Gloves comes great responsibility,” he continues, “You are not yet ready to wield the awesome power of this lethal device.”

[Note: The mysterious stains on the manual cover are not mine. For that, you can thank the previous owner.]

Retro Scan of the Week: Happy Pac-Man and Floating “Video Wafers”

Monday, April 17th, 2006
Pac-Man Video Wafers

Look at the little spud, frozen mid-stride in a moment of pure ghost-running bliss. As a continuation of last week’s Retro Scan, here are two pages from the manual of the Atari 2600 version of Pac-Man. The game itself was a terrible translation of the arcade hit (for Pac-Man done right on the 2600, see Ms. Pac-Man). The graphics were so bad that the manual tells you about the “video wafers” (lines, in lieu of pellets) that Pac-Man eats in this game. Also, the bonus fruit have become “vitamins” — because they’re square.

I wonder if Pac-Man would be so happy if he knew that Atari would be burying thousands (if not millions) of copies of his game in a landfill a few years later.

This Week’s Game Ads A-Go-Go:
“The Dirty Mind of a Gamer”

Thursday, April 13th, 2006
Ballz

This week, over on GameSetWatch, I take a look at ads that are ripe for twisted interpretation. The only thing missing is your dirty mind.

The Official Golf Ball of Ultima III: Exodus

Saturday, April 8th, 2006
Official Ultima III Golf Ball

Here it is: the Official Golf Ball of Ultima III: Exodus. Back in 1983, if you found this ultra-rare object included in your Ultima III game box, you won an all-expenses paid trip to Lord British’s backyard swimming pool.

Ok, so I made that up. I actually found this golf ball in my back yard recently and thought it mildly amusing. The ball’s shape looks warped purely because my flatbed scanner wasn’t designed to scan 3D spherical objects. I wonder if Richard Garriott uses this brand when he hits the green.

This Week’s Game Ads A-Go-Go: Proof that Video Game Companies Want You to Die

Thursday, March 30th, 2006
Push Your Friend Over The Edge

“At some point in the early nineties it became wildly fashionable for video game publishers to threaten your bodily health. Everything was “In Your Face!” and “Attitude!” and “Play it Loud!” which is exactly why I played it quietly. Unlike my other gaming brethren, I didn’t want to die.”

Retro Scan of the Week: The Perfect Heathkit Robotic Family

Monday, March 27th, 2006
The Perfect Heathkit Robotic Family

Flash back to 1986: “Is your family life not quite how you’d like it to be? Does your husband stay late at work and seem ungrateful? Does your wife refuse to clean the house and make you dinner? Are your kids too gross, squishy and organic? Well worry no longer, because now you can buy and build your own Heathkit RoboFamily Plus (GD-9920) for only $2999.95 plus shipping! (Important Note: The ‘RoboFamily Plus’ comes pre-programmed to buy Heathkit products and demonstrate them frequently, thoroughly, and repeatedly, so do not be alarmed if you witness this behavior.)

[Scan from a 1986 Heathkit Catalog.]

This Week’s Game Ads A-Go-Go: “Guys Freakin’ Out”

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
Freakout

This week’s Game Ads A-Go-Go is now up on GameSetWatch. It’s all about guys freakin’ out, which is always a great topic for video game-related columns. So check it out.

This Week’s Game Ads A-Go-Go: “Strange and Devious Perhipherals”

Thursday, March 16th, 2006
GSW Ad

Now up at GameSetWatch is my second “Game Ads A-Go-Go” column about classic game-related ads. This week’s piece is about “Strange and Devious Peripherals.” Check it out.

RedWolf’s Classic Video Game Ads Column on GameSetWatch Premiers Today

Thursday, March 9th, 2006

Ad from GameSetWatchStarting today, I’ll be doing a weekly column called “Game Ads A-Go-Go” (the title was the GSW editor’s idea) over on the blog GameSetWatch that showcases good, bad, strange, funny, and interesting classic video game-related advertisements. My first column is on “Dumb Ads of the 90s” and is up now. Check it out!

Most of the ads featured in the column will be scanned from my massive early 1990s game magazine collection that I recently unearthed from deep-earth storage (my parents’ basement). The column itself is a partnership between GSW and VC&G, actually more of an extension of VC&G-style content exclusively on GSW. Why? I guess it’s because we love each other so much (read: “I’ve been bribed with a lifetime supply of chili hot dogs”). But never you mind, and don’t you worry — the fresh content from VC&G will continue to flow just as readily as before.