When I first started using PC compatibles in the early 1990s, Microsoft mice were recognized far and wide as the best mice around. I used their third model (I believe), which was a smooth, white rounded number with an incredible feel and response. I still use those mice on some of my older PCs. Although I’ve never used the mouse pictured here, but I’d wager that it was pretty good by 1983 standards.

I always found it ironic that Microsoft made some of the best mice on Earth, considering the sorry state of their software at times (I remember thinking this in the Windows 98/ME days — Microsoft’s lowest point so far). Whomever is/was in charge of their hardware division really knows what they’re doing, although I think they’ve been slipping up a tad recently by releasing keyboards with weird, nonstandard layouts and too many mouse models with superfluous buttons. But as long as they still sell this baby, (my current mouse of choice), I’ll be happy.

[ From Personal Computing Magazine, December 1983 ]

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It’s not colorful and it’s not pretty, but this small piece of paper says a lot about how far we’ve come in personal computing.

I found this 5×10.5″ document in an old box of Commodore 64 ephemera that I inherited from a stranger (along with some of his old speeding tickets) via a hamfest. It appears to be the reward for filling out a COMPUTE! magazine survey (circa mid 1980s) and contains the BASIC program code for a game called Amazer.

Typed program listings like this were extremely common back in the day, but I found this example particularly interesting, as it was intended to be a bonus “gift” program, and they didn’t even bother to send a disk or cassette. Paper was a far cheaper distribution medium, of course, but it’s not even a full piece of paper! They must have had trouble finding a decent game small enough to fit the size of paper allocated by their minuscule gift budget.

I just did a quick search for “Amazer” on Google and found that some enterprising individual is trying to sell a copy of this very document on eBay for $50. He even went so far as to blur out the program listing on his picture! And no, this item is not worth $50. It’s more like a few steps away from toilet paper in terms of actual monetary value. But it’s still a neat historical footnote, no doubt.

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When I first saw this ad in EGM around 1992-93, I wanted one of these modems so bad. I was hugely into BBSes and computer telecommunications at the time, and the thought of using one on a console to play games with friends was awesome. My best friend called my BBS, and my imagination went wild thinking about all the fun we could have with a pair of these modems. That is, assuming the games were good.

Eventually, I convinced my mom to call Baton (being a about 11 or 12 years old then) to see if she could order one, but by that time either the phone number was already disconnected, or she didn’t get an answer. Or maybe she did talk to somebody — my memory’s fuzzy on that point. I was hugely disappointed. Crushed. The Teleplay modems never showed up in stores and I never heard anything about them again.

I did get excited when Xband modems came out some years later (for the SNES and Genesis), but I found the experience with their service somewhat lacking. I wanted a direct player-to-player connection with no game broker or middle man.

For more on the story behind the Baton Teleplay modem, check out Frank Cifaldi’s investigative piece at Lost Levels Online. I’m really glad he took the time to research the company so that their story isn’t completely lost to history.

Unfortunately, I forgot to document the issue number this ad appeared in when I scanned it some time ago.

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After seeing what Bentley Bear is capable of, I’m not really sure if I want his “tip.”

[ From Electronic Games Magazine, December 1983 ]

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It’s that time again folks — time for another Retro Scan of the Week caption contest! This will be our third contest. Our last was in October of 2006 and our first was a few months before in August. Here’s how it works:

Anyone out there may enter the contest (multiple times is fine by me) by writing a comment on this post. Simply write the best (i.e. funniest) caption you can think of for the image above. The winning caption will be selected by me and glorified before the whole world as the best caption ever. But of course, it’s not really about winning; it’s about the self-satisfaction you’ll gain by entertaining your peers and the joy of participating in a community event.

So join in the fun. Let’s see what you guys can come up with for this one. Study the image carefully and use every detail to your advantage.

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Once upon a time, in another age, there was a handheld console war brewing. The fighters in this epic battle were Nintendo, with its modest Game Boy; Sega, with its sleek Game Gear; NEC, with its ultra-expensive TurboExpress; and Atari, with its unwieldy Lynx. Despite being the least powerful system and the only one without color, the Game Boy triumphed over all, most likely thanks to its respectable battery life and Tetris, the ultimate handheld gaming killer app.

But this scan isn’t about the Game Boy. It’s about the Atari Lynx, that weird, large, oblong battery guzzler of a handheld that was seemingly designed by a team of monkeys with three arms. And at the point in time captured in this scan (1991), it was “only” $99.95, which was a lot of money back then. Nonetheless, I wanted one anyway — we all wanted one. But the only person I knew that had one was a rich kid from school. I eventually did get my (two) hands on a redesigned Lynx 2 model around 1994 for about $70 with two games. I (or more properly, my parents) bought it through the mail from a kid who called my BBS at the time. It was a great system to have, but I didn’t have any games for it that were any fun.

Much more could be said about the Lynx, but that tale will have to be saved for another day.

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In the heart of every Atari, whether it be a computer or a game system, is nothing more than a glorified calculator. But chances are that it doesn’t have a durable folding case or “32 step auto recall.”

I bought this Atari calculator a few years ago as a curiosity. I always wanted one back when I was an Atari freak in the early ’90s. It remains as you see it, within its creased blister pack. It’s so much more fun to look at than to use, especially since a dead llama could cough up the equivalent in terms of capability these days. And unfortunately, the only game you could play on this Atari is typing in “1134” and turning it upside down for a laugh.

Anybody else have an Atari calculator out there? Tell us about it!

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