More mediocrity than my attention can hold.

I was so excited when I first saw Werewolf: The Last Warrior in my local Blockbuster, circa 1991. I excitedly rented the game and took it home, only to have my hopes dashed against the rocks of expectation upon inserting it into my NES and playing.

The game was terrible. Well… to be generous, it was an intensely derivative action-platformer, à la Ninja Gaiden — one of hundreds on the NES platform.

While Werewolf may not be remembered for original gameplay, it will forever be immortalized as one of VC&G’s 2009 Halloween Costume Ideas. And that’s the way it should be.

Discussion Topic of the Week: What’s the weirdest video game main character of all time?

Super Mario Bros. Crossover is, in my opinion, the only Flash game worth playing. The Internet-keen amongst you may have run across this already on other blogs, but I thought it was worth repeating here.

In SMBC, author Jay Pavlina masterfully recreates Super Mario Bros. in Flash with a surprising bonus: five additional playable characters pulled straight from iconic NES games. There’s Link from The Legend of Zelda, Samus from Metroid, Mega Man from his self-titled game, Simon Belmont from Castlevania, and Bill R. from Contra.

Each character retains certain abilities from his respective game, and the SMB power-ups provide each with character-appropriate upgrades. It’s an exhilarating feeling to destroy every brick you can find with Bill R’s spread shot, or to blow up goombas by laying bombs with Samus. If you’ve ever wanted to gun down Bowser, here’s your chance.

I don’t want to spoil all the surprises. Play the game and find out more.

Technologizer just published the first photograph of Mario Segale to ever grace the intricate tubes of the Internet. And it happened in an article written by yours truly. It’s titled “The True Face of Mario.”

Who’s Mario Segale, you ask? He’s the man that inspired Mario’s name and Italian heritage. To see the photo and to read more about how Nintendo’s famous plumber got his name, mosey on over to the Technologizer and check it out.

P.S. If you like it, please digg it and spread the word.

P.P.S. I thought I had this post up publicly yesterday, but just realized I didn’t. Oops.

Our hero stands alone in a dungeon, screaming profanities at the ceiling.

You might remember our intrepid hero, a loincloth-bedecked body builder, from last year’s VC&G Halloween Costume Ideas. This beefcakey portrayal of Solstice’s main character is as amusing now as it was then, so I figured it deserved its own RSOTW.

The character’s name is actually Shadax, if you’re interested. If you’re not, I don’t blame you. He’s not normally like this, I swear. Shadax wears a modest, body-enveloping robe throughout the entire game. He only gets naked when he’s had too much of the ‘ole Green Fairy.

Discussion Topic of the Week: What’s your favorite NES puzzle game? For bonus points: what’s the most obscure NES puzzle game you can name?

Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom (NES)

Discussion Topic of the Week: What’s the weirdest video game you’ve ever played?

In the early 1990s, I rented quite a few video games from my local Blockbuster store. I felt compelled to try any and all new games that showed up for rental — up to the point my parents would allow, anyway.

Around the same time, I figured out how to disassemble video game cartridges. I thought myself very clever and began disassembling NES and SNES games I’d rented to see what was inside. Blockbuster wouldn’t have liked this, of course — to prevent such a practice, the chain sealed its game cartridges with tamper-resistant security stickers designed to show if someone had opened them up.

Luckily for me, the stickers didn’t always cover the screw holes, allowing me to work around them. With a careful bend at the sticker joint between two sides of the plastic cartridge case, I could examine the cartridge interior with impunity.

It was then that I struck upon a weird idea. Similar to how kids would scratch their initials on a tree or a school desk, or perhaps draw their initials in wet concrete, I realized I could leave my own mark hidden within the cartridges themselves, gaining a small form of immortality in the process.

The key idea being that I would stick a note on the inside of the cartridge case, so people (most notably, Blockbuster employees) could not normally see it; one would have to open the cartridge again to reveal the secret message.

My youthful imagination fantasized about exchanging covert correspondence between video game renters this way. Even better, I could imagine someone, some day, far in the future randomly opening up an old SNES cartridge and finding a note from me inside. They’d be completely perplexed and amazed, and my goal would have been achieved. But even if no one ever found my message, it still would feel good to have it out there.

Placing The Golden Ticket

The next time I rented a game, I disassembled it and set to work with my plan. I found some small self-adhesive labels and wrote a short note on one, along with a date. After sticking the label to the inside of the cartridge, I closed it up and later returned the game to Blockbuster as usual.

I probably only wrote my initials on the first label (simulated above), but on the subsequent labels — maybe two at most — I might have written a short phrase such as, “Greetings from the past!” I don’t recall exactly. I believe I left the first such note inside Super Mario Kart in the Raleigh, NC area around 1993.

If you find it, let me know. It will be even better than finding the Golden Ticket in a Wonka Bar. As a reward, I’ll give you a personal tour of the VC&G Museum — and I promise you won’t drown in a river of chocolate.

“You are the weapon!”

I was a big fan of the original NES Renegade back in the day, but I seem to recall the sequel, Target: Renegade, being a major letdown. Did anyone out there actually like it?

Discussion Topic of the Week: What’s your favorite Taito game of all time?

“No more Mr. Ice Guy.”

It looks like Kickle Cubicle visited much of the Eastern U.S. coast over the weekend with a nasty snowstorm; hope you guys are digging out all right. Here in NC, some of us lucked out with a light dusting and a lot of rain.

Kickle Cubicle itself is a fun, Lolo-esque NES puzzler with a silly name that hints at both kicking and modular office partitions (thankfully, cubicles do not actually appear in the game). If you run across it, I highly recommend picking it up.

Merry Christmas from VC&G!

Discussion Topic of the Week: It’s Santa time once again. If you could magically (and freely) have any one item for your classic computer or video game collection, what would it be?

The Euro-American family in its native habitat.

Just in time for Thanksgiving — and the ritual practice of family togetherness — comes this wonderful vintage photo from the back of the NES Action Set box. In it, we see a four-person white American nuclear family utterly consumed by a game of Super Mario Bros.

This scene looks nice at first glance, but imagine having to play through a whole game with mom and dad hanging off of your shoulders.

“Hey son.”

(Father gets in close, whispering into son’s ear.)

“Want to play some Super Mario Brothers?”

“I’m already playing, Dad.”

(Father squeezes son’s shoulder tighter.)

“My uncle’s name is Mario.”

Luckily, the scenario I’ve concocted above appears nowhere on the box. Still, a few amusing things about this photo jump out at me:

• Mario is gleefully flying to his death.
• The family apparently owns two copies of Super Mario Bros. because one is on the table, and they’re playing one in the NES.
• The two kids are both playing a one player game at the same time. Or maybe the older brother (player 1) on the right is screwing up the little brother’s game by hitting pause at random intervals.
• The mother and the son on the right aren’t looking at the TV set. Actually, I don’t think any of them are.

I’ve included an extra-large scan this time (when you click on the image), so you might be able to turn it into a desktop background.

For more vintage family madness, check out my latest slideshow on Technologizer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Discussion Topic of the Week: Have you ever played a video game with your entire immediate family rapturously engaged in the action on screen?

Coming Soon: Ben Bernanke’s Bail-Out!!

Discussion Topic of the Week: How has the current U.S. economic recession affected you?