Of Aliens and Men

This richly illustrated advertisement for Irem’s R-Type and Kung-Fu Master on the Game Boy made me bristle with excitement as a kid. Unfortunately, most Game Boy games (when played on the blurry, slow-response, low-contrast, pale green LCD display of the original GB unit) didn’t live up to the promise of their vivid, colorful ads. Sure, I tried my hand at many action games on Nintendo’s famous handheld, but the lackluster experience made me mostly stick with Tetris until the vastly-improved screens of the Game Boy Pocket and Color came along.

Discussion topic of the week: What was your first portable electronic/video game experience? Describe it for us.

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No more blisters for Batman.

No serious gamer should be without a pair of batting Video Game Gloves by Champion. Without the extra padding they provide, your hands can get chapped, cramped, and blistered while pushing it to the next level! These gnarly gloves even provide a padded thumb sleeve for enhanced video game play.

If that weren’t enough, it’s clear that Batman himself uses these gloves while gaming.

“Robin, pass me the Bat Gloves.”

Discussion topic of the week: Have you ever injured your fingers, hands, or wrists playing video games?

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

Before we go any further, I must clarify that I am not making this up.

I recently received an interesting message on Myspace from one Cory Holtz, a male actor and model. His question dealt with Legendary Wings. Specifically, he’s looking for someone to hack the game for him:

Hello Vintage,

I am so happy to see that hacking is at it’s best with you guy. I am looking to hire someone for a freelance gig to hack and edit one of my favorite childhood NES games “Legendary Wings”. It’s a vertical shooting game and should be fairly easy to program. I’m just a pro at the game and would love a more difficult version, more guns, and extra levels. Please let me know if you would be interested with this freelance gig.

Can’t wait to hear from you!
Best,
Cory Holtz

[ Continue reading Fashion Model Seeks Freelance ROM Hacker » ]

It should come as no surprise to my regular readers that I like to foster a sense of community around Vintage Computing and Gaming; I believe that the main strength of any publication lies in its readership, and VC&G is blessed with an exceptionally intelligent, resourceful, and creative one.

As a historian, I like to help people reconnect with and rediscover the past. But I can’t do it alone — we need to stick together. That’s why I’m announcing a new contest to promote activity on the VC&G Discussion Forum, an oft-neglected part of the site. Anyone can enter the contest by registering for an account on the forum and posting.

[ Continue reading Win a Free NES DVD Player and More » ]

What you’re seeing is not a hallucination. It is neither the result of partial head trauma, nor an accidental intrusion from an alternate dimension.

It’s a plug-and-play video game system marketed by Polaroid.

Walking through an absurdly enormous Target Supercenter last year, I spotted this strange beast hanging on an isle in the electronics section. I knew Polaroid was in bad shape (having declared bankruptcy years ago), but this? It’s so bizarre that I had to pick it up.

What I got was a battery powered NES clone with 15 mostly terrible games. No big surprise there. After some searching on the web, I found pictures of this same unit colored translucent blue instead of Polaroid grey — clearly Polaroid licensed this from another manufacturer. But why?

Word on the street (aka “the Internet”) says that Polaroid had originally built these games into their Portable DVD players. With that move, Polaroid quietly tiptoed into video game business. Still not satisfied, Polaroid soon launched this re-branded Chinese bargain-bin controller…almost directly into the clearance isles of retail electronics stores across the nation. Little did they know that it would some day make its most famous press appearance ever on Vintage Computing and Gaming.

Polaroid 15-in-1 Video Game System Title Screen

[ Continue reading Polaroid Instant Video Games » ]

Click above to see the full ad.

Close your eyes! The above picture is too hot for young minds to take. Or so thought Electronic Games in 1983 when they elected to censor the poster-girl’s bikini-clad crotch with an inelegant black circle.

When I first saw this ad for “video game sports accessories,” I thought the censorship have been a joke. But since it was published a video game magazine in 1983 — hence, “for kids” — it makes more sense. She’s clutching that phallic-looking broken joystick awfully close to the operative parts of her reproductive anatomy, and I guess that made the magazine nervous. God forbid she conceive a child with an arcade machine.

But what exactly has been gained by covering her crotch? It makes one wonder what hideous, kinky, suggestive imagery might be lurking under there to warrant such a circle. And therein lies the problem with arbitrary censorship — it draws undue attention to what otherwise might have been a mundane affair.

Discussion topic of the week: Imagine you’re ten years old in 1983. What would you think of the image above?

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

An excellent source of FDA Certified non-GMO 100% organic, free-range people.

Tired of trouncing lifeless, boring computer chips in your games? Then you’ve come to the right place. Here at GEnie, our entire subscriber base is clinically insane and writes exclusively in crayon. Signing up is easy. Here’s how:

1. Set your modem for half duplex (local echo) at 300, 1200, or 2400 baud.

2. Dial toll free — 1-800-638-8369. Upon connection, enter HHH.

3. At the U # = prompt, enter XTX99316, VideoG92 then press RETURN.

4. Have a major credit card or your checking account number ready.

Make sure you get step #3 exactly right, or you might end up one kidney short after accidentally subscribing to Nigerian Cyber Exchange.

Discussion topic of the week: When was the first time you played a computer game over a modem or computer network? Describe your experience.

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

We’re back. Last week’s Fuzzy Memory mysery was such an astounding success that we’ve received another request from someone seeking resolution of their distant childhood gaming memories. I’m not a fount of infinite knowledge, so like always, I need the adept VC&G readership to help solve the mystery.

Spirits of Ancient Egypt

Julia, from Australia, wrote me a few days ago regarding an electronic handheld game from her past:

G’day red

I’m hoping you can help me locate a game I played when I was a child. I live in South Australia. The game was a handheld game made around 1981 with a lcd screen. The name Tutankhamen comes to mind but it may have been called something else, but I’m pretty sure it had an Egyptian theme. I don’t remember how the game was played, I only remember what it looks like. It may have been red in colour, small between 10-20cm wide an I recall it had a little black stand attached to the bottom of it. I think it was modelled after the 2 player tabletop arcade games except a mini version.

Your help would be much appreciated!

Cheers

-Julia

[ Continue reading [ Fuzzy Memory ] Tutankhamen Rises Again » ]

TTI took three of these and never woke up.

Discussion topic of the week: Pretend it’s 1991 and you’re giving advice to NEC executives on how to save the TurboGrafx-16 in the United States. What do you say?

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Tom’s congenital lack of eyeballs had never been an obstacle…until now.

Discussion topic of the week: What’s your favorite flight simulator software of all time?

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