“…easy after you spend a day on it.” Then your hand snaps off.

Of all the weird contraptions pitched by obscure third-party controller manufacturers, the Video Game Control Glove ranks among the worst. I have but a simple question: in what way was the regular Nintendo 64 controller bad enough to inspire someone to redesign it into an impractical novelty shape that likely promotes wrist injury? Better yet, why does anybody do anything stupid?

Because somebody, somewhere, thought it was a good idea at the time. (And someone else gave them money.)

Upon closer inspection of this ad, you’ll notice that the company behind this needless exercise in hand strain called itself “Reality Quest.” That explains a lot: exactly 83% of the dumbest video game peripherals ever made were ill-conceived attempts to capitalize on the early 1990s media hype around “virtual reality” (case in point, the StuntMaster headset). At the time, virtual reality was always just around the corner, courtesy of strap-on goggles and gangly game gauntlets that engulfed your hand in gaudy gadgetry.

I’ve never used the Glove; my guess is that it falls somewhat short of turning Mario 64 into an immersive virtual reality experience. But the next time I need a controller whose function requires rapid, repetitive contortions of one of weakest and least durable joints in the human body, I’ll keep it in mind.

Discussion topic of the week: What’s the worst video game peripheral you’ve ever bought?

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

Well, our first forum contest was a spirited one. Its goal was to stimulate activity on our previously stagnant forum, and it succeeded. We saw many new members arrive and many interesting discussions held.

After a month of battling it out for post supremacy, I’m sure our contestants are anxious to hear the results. So without much further ado, I’m proud to announce the winners of our 2008 VC&G forum contest.

[ Continue reading 2008 VC&G Forum Contest Winners » ]

Thirty years ago this month, Intel released the 8086 microprocessor, the originator of the now-famous x86 standard and the ultimate progenitor of most modern consumer CPUs.

But what, exactly, does all that mean? Well, think of it this way: any assembly language program written as far back as 1978 for the Intel 8086 will run, unmodified, on Intel’s latest Core 2 Extreme released in 2008 — only 180,000 times faster.

The thirty-year tale of x86 began when an Intel engineer named Stephen P. Morse defined the 8086 instruction set (the core group of instructions that define what a microprocessor can do) while working at Intel in the late 1970s. That same instruction set would go on to form the basis of the world’s most popular personal computer architecture. Even the once-insular Macintosh platform, the last mainstream bastion of the non-Intel world, now runs on x86 processors.

What’s going on here, and how did it get that way?

PC World recently published a feature I wrote on the anniversary that answers those questions, along with an in-depth interview I conducted with Stephen P. Morse, designer of the 8086 and the original x86 instruction set.

Anyone interested in PC history, or how this standard came to be, should check them out. For better or for worse, x86 is what we’re stuck with, so I feel that it is important for computer users to understand it.

I hope you enjoy the article.

Click on the image above to see the full advertisement.

I scanned this incredible piece of vintage computing artwork from a 1986 magazine advertisement for IBM PC service. It looks like it was rendered in layers of colored construction paper to achieve a 3D effect. The result is very unique, vibrant, and friendly. Does anyone know the artist responsible for this work?

By the way, here’s a high-resolution version of this piece in PNG format for those of you out there who might want to turn it into a desktop background. Heck, print it out and put it on your wall.

Discussion topic of the week: Have you ever paid someone to fix your computer for you?

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

Of Aliens and Men

This richly illustrated advertisement for Irem’s R-Type and Kung-Fu Master on the Game Boy made me bristle with excitement as a kid. Unfortunately, most Game Boy games (when played on the blurry, slow-response, low-contrast, pale green LCD display of the original GB unit) didn’t live up to the promise of their vivid, colorful ads. Sure, I tried my hand at many action games on Nintendo’s famous handheld, but the lackluster experience made me mostly stick with Tetris until the vastly-improved screens of the Game Boy Pocket and Color came along.

Discussion topic of the week: What was your first portable electronic/video game experience? Describe it for us.

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

Some of you might remember the Apple IIc teardown I did for PC World back in March. Now it’s June, and my workbench is back in the spotlight again. This time I dissected the venerable TRS-80 Model 100 laptop computer, which happened to turn 25 this year. Below, I’ve posted an excerpt from the slideshow. I hope you enjoy it.

Twenty-five years ago, Radio Shack released the first wildly successful laptop computer in the United States. The TRS-80 Model 100 was simple, rugged, plentiful, and reliable, selling over six million units during its eight-year life span. With ample battery life, light weight (about 3 pounds), compact size, instant-on capability, and a small suite of built-in applications, the Model 100 served as the portable computing workhorse of its day. Bill Gates’ also ranks it as one of his favorite computers of all time, in large part because he and a friend wrote the firmware it uses.

The transistor — need I say more?

Let’s give a big round of applause to the electronic component that made our current computer revolution possible: the transistor. Here’s an advertisement from RCA touting the benefits of solid state transistor technology from a time when it was still novel. 55 years later, we’d be cramming 300 million of these onto a single piece of silicon smaller than a penny. And Microsoft Word still runs slowly.

Discussion topic of the week: What was your first computer’s CPU clock speed?

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

I don’t know if anybody out there knows this, but some years ago, I created a music site called Request-A-Song.com (RAS). My brother Jeremy and I wrote original songs based on visitor suggestions, recorded them, and put them up on the site in MP3 format. We usually treated serious requests humorously, and humorous requests seriously, which thoroughly confused everybody (Hence RAS’s amazing success, and why you’ve no doubt heard of it many times). Sadly, our heyday was before the Digg, YouTube, MySpace, and ubiquitous blog explosion, which would have undoubtedly helped us promote our music and unique concept.

I’m only mentioning this now because it deals with something at least slightly on-topic for VC&G — computer history. Mike (aka Dr. Macenstein), over at the Macenstein blog, recently put together a video for my tongue-in-cheek song, “Ellen Feiss Makes Me Hot,” which I released back in 2003 (yes, almost five years ago). It’s about the famous Mac switcher who appeared in an Apple advertisement around the time. Essentially, people thought the commercial was funny because Ms. Feiss looked like she was stoned while filming.

(By the way, I should probably note that I had no idea Ellen Feiss was 15 when I recorded the song. It’s also written from the point of view of a fictional admirer, and acknowledges how Internet obsession can be creepy in the lyrics. I was looking to hitch the song onto a popular meme about Feiss on the Internet at the time.)

[ Continue reading Ellen Feiss Music Video – An Ode to the Mac Switcher » ]

No more blisters for Batman.

No serious gamer should be without a pair of batting Video Game Gloves by Champion. Without the extra padding they provide, your hands can get chapped, cramped, and blistered while pushing it to the next level! These gnarly gloves even provide a padded thumb sleeve for enhanced video game play.

If that weren’t enough, it’s clear that Batman himself uses these gloves while gaming.

“Robin, pass me the Bat Gloves.”

Discussion topic of the week: Have you ever injured your fingers, hands, or wrists playing video games?

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

Before we go any further, I must clarify that I am not making this up.

I recently received an interesting message on Myspace from one Cory Holtz, a male actor and model. His question dealt with Legendary Wings. Specifically, he’s looking for someone to hack the game for him:

Hello Vintage,

I am so happy to see that hacking is at it’s best with you guy. I am looking to hire someone for a freelance gig to hack and edit one of my favorite childhood NES games “Legendary Wings”. It’s a vertical shooting game and should be fairly easy to program. I’m just a pro at the game and would love a more difficult version, more guns, and extra levels. Please let me know if you would be interested with this freelance gig.

Can’t wait to hear from you!
Best,
Cory Holtz

[ Continue reading Fashion Model Seeks Freelance ROM Hacker » ]