[ Ulaf Silchov is an expert in video games and computers. He also writes for “Svadlost Weekly” and “The Simpler Thymes Drug-Free Newsletter” ]

ULAF HERE AGAIN WITH ANOTHER INSTANCE OF MY MIND’S WRITINGS. THIS WRITINGS CONTAIN TOP SECRETS ON HOW TO EAT THE VIDEO GAMES. ULAF MEAN REALLY EAT THEM, AS TO DO AND TO PASS THROUGH THE BODY AS NUTRIENT, OR KUDGE SLAW VISKOS, A NATIVE DISH OF ULAF’S COUNTRY.

IT IS FULL OF THE TIPS LEARNED FROM MASTERS AFAR AND AWIDE, GAINED IN KNOWLEDGE THROUGH MY MIND (THROUGH BOOKS CONVEYED BELOW) AND PUSHED FORWARD TO YOUR MIND THROUGH THE MAGIC OF TUBS, AS THE JOKE GOES. THROUGH THE GLORIOUS INTERTUBS WEBNET. AS MY MIND FINDS IT FUNNY.

THE FAVORITE FOODS

BUT FIRST. BEFORE THE BOOKS ON EATING THE VIDEO GAMES, ULAF SHARES WITH MY PERSONS NOW THE FAVORITE FOODS OF MY MIND:

IT ABOVE IS THE THE HAMBURGLAR, A NATIVE FOOD OF THE AMERICAS COUNTRY. UPON FLOWING TO THIS AMERICAS ULAF EAT MANY OF THESE HAMBURGLAR WHEN MY MIND IS HUNGRY TO EAT. THAT IS TRULY WHY, THEY SPOKE OF AMERICAS TO BE THE PLACE OF THE OPPORTUNITY. AND THEN MY MIND STOPS.

[ Continue reading HOW TO EAT THE VIDEO GAMES » ]

For a little change of pace, I’d be fun to focus on some non-game pixels in this edition. This week’s theme and hint is “GUIs” — that is, Graphical User Interfaces (ala “Windows”). Name the GUI and the computer it ran on. The first block is to the right, the other two are below. As always, post your guesses in the comments section of this entry, and don’t be bashful. Good luck!

    

The answers to the last challenge are after the break.

[ Continue reading Name Those Pixels: GUI Edition » ]

So tell me, Pac-Friends. How many of these Pac-Man items do you have? (Check the scans below to get a full description of all the items.)

Pac-Man this, Pac-Man that. It seems like they made a Pac-Man version of everything in the early 1980s. My brother’s friend had a metal Pac-Man trashcan that I was always jealous of (and to think that he wouldn’t give it to me!). Unfortunately, that item is not in the picture. My family bought a second-hand copy of the marblelicious Pac-Man board game you see on the floor there. It was pretty dumb, if I recall — nothing could compare to playing the actual video game on our Atari 800 at the time. And another of my brother’s friends had the Pac-Man Fever album, but they never let me listen to it. I still hold it against them to this day.

Anyway, check out the other full scans below and behold the power of merchandising! Warning — the full images are pretty big. Enjoy!

[ Scanned by VC&G from Popular Computing Magazine, December 1982 ]

If you use these images on your site or blog, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks! We really appreciate it.

I was thinking recently. This site is supposed to be a blog, right? Well, it’s not really very bloggy. I’ve been getting around that by calling VC&G a “blogazine” — that is, half-blog, half-magazine — and it works pretty well. But still, I think this place has been severely lacking in blogatude recently. I’ve become too serious, too obsessed with writing only thoroughly-researched pieces that take ages to finish. Everything I start writing turns into some kind of research paper, as if I have some compulsive need for incredibly documented detail in everything I do. That kind of obsession is something of a good habit for feature writers (as long as you can make a deadline), but a bad one for bloggers. Luckily, I’m having success in freelance work, where detail and accuracy is king. And if I want to keep getting writing jobs, I obviously want all my output to be as professional as possible. That kind of attitude leaves little room for silliness in case they catch me on a bad day. Am I being too uptight? Yes, I am. But consider this: If I wanted to interview the Pope about the first computer he ever used, and VC&G’s leading article at the time was titled “Five Ways I Wipe My Butt With Computers,” do you think he’d grant me the interview? (Hell yes, because the Pope loves that tingling feelin’ as much as anyone else. But that’s beside the point.)

Despite all the professional anxiety I just expressed (this sounds more and more like a real blog all the time, doesn’t it?), I still need to remember to have a little fun. So let’s have some. This entry marks the beginning of a new column about the current hectic happenings in my happenin’ hip-hop VC&G lifestyle. I don’t expect to be whining much (a perennial blog favorite), so bear with me. It’ll try to find a suitably compelling and dramatic replacement. And have no fear, my loyal VC&G friends: aside from this blog-like column, you can continue to expect the same professionalish blogazine standard from Vintage Computing and Gaming as usual.

But for now, it’s bloggerin’ time.

[ Continue reading Tales From the Benjside: Attack of the Blog! » ]

Wow. The last challenge was supposed to be hard, but you guys got them all in the first day! I’ve pulled a couple obscure games out of my hat this time to test your pixel recognition engines. This week’s theme and hint is “Color Titles.” Think color, my friends. That should help you pin them down. The first block is to the right, the other two are below. As always, post your guesses in the comments section of this entry, and don’t be bashful. Good luck!

    

The answers to the last challenge are after the break.

[ Continue reading Name Those Pixels: Challenge #10 » ]

I have to admit that I’ve murdered more than my fair share of virtual people. I always go for the head shot in Gears of War. I run down pedestrians in Grand Theft Auto like it was going out of style. There’s something about the thrill of spilling innocent pixelated blood while hearing digitized screams of absolute terror that keeps me coming back for more, time and time again. And until the McClinsky-Grinhold Virtual Rights Act of 2042 passes, I should be free to indulge in the simulated murder-violence of virtual humans.

Seeing that this is a “vintage gaming” site, I thought I would take a look at some of the “great moments” of digital simulated violence in the past. My only complaint is that, prior to 1989, video game graphics were not sophisticated enough to depict gushing, free-flowing rivers of crimson plasma with any regularity. You kinda had to use your imagination to fill in the blanks. Bummer. Nonetheless, in this column we’ll be taking a look at an early pioneer in senseless virtual bloodshed, Thorn EMI Video’s Carnival Massacre for the Atari 800 computer system. Carnival Massacre is a 1983 classic that, with a few minor changes, could quite possibly have been the greatest game of all time.

[ Continue reading Great Moments in Video Game Violence: Carnival Massacre » ]

Haven’t you always wanted your very own personal desktop information terminal? With a 9″ monochrome monitor? That requires a $15-an-hour text-only information service to use to its fullest? For the same price as a full-fledged PC? Neither did anybody else, and that’s why it was on clearance in 1986.

The XT300 ActionStation came with “$15.00 of free usage” for CompuServe, which, according to the catalog, “will vary between 1 and 2 hours” of connect time “depending on when it’s used.” This makes the old “100 Hours Free!” AOL offer look like a bargain!

Here’s some more info on the GTE XT300, from Communication News, February 1985:

GTE’s XT300 ActionStation combines an ASCII terminal with build-in modem and nine-inch high-resolution screen with a full-feature electronic telephone, speaker phone and large-capacity speed dialer. The ActionStation’s two-line capability allows simultaneously voice and data transmission, and the unit provides access to a wide range of data transmission and retrieval services, including GTE’s Telemail electronic mail service and online public data-base services. A personal directory permits storage of 50 names and telephone numbers, and eight computer sign-on procedures. It also stores 12 frequently used commands, report names and data file names of up to 36 characters.

[ Scanned from a COMB Catalog, ca. 1986 ]

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.